


i think about it (can't think about it)

by wiinterwind



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Firsts, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Relationship Study, Sakusa Week 2020, osamu makes an appearance, sakusa-centric, um Idk how to tag, yeah im bad at tagging HAHA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:35:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wiinterwind/pseuds/wiinterwind
Summary: “Admiring me there arentcha Omi-kun?”Kiyoomi looked down and smiled softly.“Yeah.”…5 snapshots of Sakusa Kiyoomi and Miya Atsumu as boyfriends, plus one time where that changed.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 16
Kudos: 341





	i think about it (can't think about it)

**Author's Note:**

> um yeah i was gonna write for sakusa week day 3 but then my brain said no <3 anyways heres my small contribution to sakusa week!! thank you so much to [tracy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsuqae/profile) for helping me beta this. if i missed anything in my content warning please don't hesitate to comment about it. and yeah so hope you enjoy a 3000 word brainrot 
> 
> cw // minor depictions of anixiety, mentions of food
> 
> title is from Troye Sivan's song "[IN A DREAM](https://open.spotify.com/track/1444RlH5FNC5fJmBcLB9xI)"
> 
> Day 7
> 
> Tier 1: Free  
> Tier 3: "You were so in love with the simple things, and now we’re searching for the fire dripping kerosene. I've been lovin’ more, livin’ less, off of highs and lows, so obsessed." Free Spirit - Khalid

_**One.** _

If there was one thing that Kiyoomi had greatly underprepared for, then it would be the amount of physical interaction that a professional athlete was required to have with the public. He had been playing with the MSBY Black Jackals for almost 2 years now and most of the fans were aware of the limits that Kiyoomi had, but that didn’t mean everyone respected them.

It was at this particular fan meet that a rather touchy and overconfident fan was trying to talk to Kiyoomi while standing way too close for comfort. While he was (publicly) a man of few words, often choosing to only respond when needed and usually in the form of a snarky remark, Kiyoomi could not even open his mouth to ask the fan to step back. His patience was wearing thin and yet he knew their manager would not be happy with him if he lashed out at another fan. The first instance was scarring, to say the least. 

Kiyoomi was at his wit’s end when the overeager fan tried to sling their arm around his shoulder. 

_Where had this person even been? How many people have they come in contact with that didn’t wash their hands? Do they even realize how unsanitary this is? Would Kiyoomi survive another lecture from their manager after he pushed a fan to the floor with the strength of 10+ years of volleyball?_

His thoughts came to a halt when he realized that a certain loudmouthed blonde had materialized in front of him. When he fully came back to reality, Atsumu had already signed, hugged, and sent the energetic fan away from them. He sighed - both out of relief and gratitude he didn’t know he could feel for such a person. 

“Hey, ya alright there Omi-kun?”

Kiyoomi raised his head to meet Atsumu’s eyes. Honey brown orbs stared back at him with what seemed to be nervousness and _worry?_

“Yeah.”

He nodded in thanks and heard Atsumu let out a sigh of relief. 

“Oh thank god. I don’t what would've happened if you pushed a fan over. Ya were staring at them like the dirt on the bottom of yer shoe and-”

Kiyoomi listened to Atsumu talk, letting out noncommittal hums and short answers every now and then to let him know that he was listening. If he ignored the warmth in his chest in favour of paying attention to the blonde in front of him, no one needed to know. 

_**Two.** _

Despite having been dating Atsumu for 2 months now, tonight was the first time that he was coming over to his apartment. He knew that Atsumu wouldn’t judge him but the small voice in his head told him that he was. 

_Would he shower like he told him to? Would his apartment bore him and make him realize that he wasn’t good enough?_

A million questions flew around his head until he heard the knocking on his door. Kiyoomi stood up, stiff as a tree, and opened the door. Atsumu stood there relaxed - albeit awkwardly but relaxed. He waved. 

“Hi Omi-kun.”

Kiyoomi moved to the side as a way of saying come in. 

“Wash your hands in the sink.”

His brain was fuzzy and the only thing grounding him back to his apartment was thoughts of Atsumu’s faded blonde hair. He didn’t know how long he had just been standing there at the genkan , staring down at his own two feet. 

“Hey if yer not okay with it I can leave ya know.”

Kiyoomi turned to look back at him. His voice was soft and he was staring back at him with a look of understanding - it took Kiyoomi’s doubts away and made his heart melt. He was stupid to think that Atsumu would judge him, the regular ugly teasing was more than enough of a reminder that nothing could faze him anymore. 

“No, it’s okay. Stay.”

“Alright then Omi-Omi. Come here! Let’s watch a movie, Ooo do ya have popcorn or any snacks or something? I’m choosing!”

“We’re professional athletes, you shouldn't be eating popcorn.”

“Come on, every once in a while is fine ain’t it? Hurry up or I’m gonna raid yer fridge clean.”

Kiyoomi sighed and decided to indulge Atsumu in his antics. They got popcorn and sat down to choose a movie. When Kiyoomi told Atsumu that he had never watched a Ghibli movie before Atsumu gasped in betrayal.

_“What?! How’ve ya never seen a Ghibli movie before? Two months of dating and not a word from ya about how you have no childhood, ugh, okay I’ve decided we’re gonna watch all of the classics tonight! Movie binge!”_

The tenseness in his body had completely faded away. All Kiyoomi could focus on was Atsumu - his presence alone made his heart warm with affection. 

If Atsumu fell asleep mid-way through the second movie on his shoulder, no one needed to know about the soft kiss he left on the crown of his head. 

_**Three.** _

_Knock knock knock._

Someone was knocking on his door. 

In Kiyoomi’s opinion, that was the understatement of the century. It sounded like someone was trying to break his door down and then commit murder on every material object in sight. The barrage of knocking was bound to annoy his neighbours and it had barely been a minute since it had started. 

“Omi-kun let me in!”

He opened the door to see Miya Atsumu, the bane of his existence and his boyfriend of 4 months staring back at him. His hair was damp, probably from a recent shower, and he was carrying a bag of unknown items. 

“What’s in the bag?”

“That’s all ya have to say to me? Already interrogating me before I’ve stepped a foot into your apartment Omi.”

He was wearing a grin that screamed mischief and trouble. Kiyoomi narrowed his eyes at him.

“With the way you were trying to break down my door, I’m tempted to throw you out to the streets.”

“Aw but then who’s gonna cook ya dinner tonight?”

Before Kiyoomi could fully comprehend Atsumu’s words, he had already slipped past him and gone into the kitchen of his apartment. He turned around in a beeline to the kitchen to see Atsumu drying his hands and pulling out ingredients from a plastic bag. 

“You can cook?”

Atsumu snorted.

“What ya doubt my skills? ‘Samu’s not the only one with skills in the kitchen ya know. Plus, I doubt you’ve had _real_ food before.”

Atsumu turned his head to look at Kiyoomi. He stared back at him with a blank stare that screamed _I don’t believe you._

“Just sit back and relax! I promise I’ll make ya change yer mind after tonight.”

Kiyoomi sighed and pulled out a chair to sit at the table. He watched as Atsumu hummed and cooked them dinner in his kitchen, an air of domesticity surrounding them. His movements were fluid, how he knew where everything he needed was beyond Kiyoomi’s knowledge but he found that he didn’t mind. The sight of Atsumu cooking in his kitchen did things to his heart. 

Kiyoomi told himself that he stayed for damage control - his pounding heart said otherwise.

He didn’t even notice that Atsumu was done cooking until the sound of the bowl hitting the table brought him back to his kitchen table. Kiyoomi looked down, Atsumu had made them ochazuke and onigiri. They looked surprisingly good, granted the onigiri was a little bit misshapen in areas, but overall he was impressed. 

“Okay! So I made us chazuke and umeboshi onigiri since I know that yer favourite.”

Atsumu winked and Kiyoomi stared back at him with badly concealed awe. Saying his prayers, he took a bite of the onigiri. It was delicious. 

“Taking back yer words yet Omi-kun?”

“Your brothers’ is still better.”

“Hey! Even you have to admit that it's pretty good, isn't it?”

Kiyoomi hummed in agreement.

“Thank you.”

He watched as Atsumu’s face bloomed red and he spoke quietly - embarrassment was a rare look on his face.

“Yeah, whatever just kill me with that wontcha ya. Not even a warning dammit, just go and kill yer boyfriend already.”

“Eat.”

Tonight was good, great even. Kiyoomi thought that he could get used to these types of nights. 

_**Four.** _

_What was he even doing with his life anymore?_

It was a Sunday afternoon where both of them were lying on Kiyoomi’s couch, watching some random American sitcom when Atsumu decided that they should go on a picnic. Where he got this idea? Kiyoomi would never know. He had long accepted that he might never understand some of the thoughts that went through Atsumu’s head - though that didn’t mean that he didn’t try.

“C’mon Omi-kun, a picnic is a staple in every relationship! Ya might be a blunt jerk but that doesn’t mean that we can’t do anything romantic ya know? It’ll be just like on TV!”

“Insulting me won’t raise your chances of me agreeing.”

“But yer gonna do it anyways wontcha?”

_Dammit._

There were lots of things Kiyoomi has denied Astumu of before - gorging on junk food, sleeping all day, and other similar occasions, but he couldn’t say no to him when he was looking at Kiyoomi with those golden-brown eyes shining with hope. He sighed, and that was all the confirmation that Atsumu needed. 

Guess they were going on a picnic anyways. 

…

Atsumu brought them to a park near his apartment that was quiet and looked surprisingly empty despite the good weather. They set up a clean sheet under a tree and unpacked some leftover food and snacks that they dug out of Kiyoomi’s kitchen earlier. He had to admit - this was better than he thought it would be. The air was nice, the soft breeze felt amazing, and his boyfriend was happy. 

“Hey see this isn’t so bad is it?”

“Yeah."

Kiyoomi watched as Atsumu was eating some leftover onigiri and staring out at the park, enjoying the feeling of the wind blowing at his face. The air tousled his light blonde hair and the sun peaked out between the tree leaves to leave shadows across his face. Kiyoomi’s breath caught in his throat - Atsumu was beautiful. 

He didn’t know how long he spent just admiring his boyfriend but he could honestly care less - if all of Atsumu’s ideas were like this then Kiyoomi would walk across continents for him. 

“Admiring me there arentcha Omi-kun?”

Kiyoomi looked down and smiled softly. 

“Yeah.”

_**Five.** _

The world was dark yet there seemed to be something adamant about burning his eyelids alive. Kiyoomi opens his eyes and turns to see the culprit who interrupted his sleep, but something was different. There was a mysterious pressure on his chest that he had definitely never felt before. The sunlight streamed through a crack of his curtains, landing precariously at only where Kiyoomi’s eyes had previously been. Glaring at the curtains, he directed his attention towards the newfound weight. His eyes went wide at what he saw. 

Laying on his chest was what he assumed was an angel in disguise. Soft blonde locks mussed up from the night, steady breathing and a line of drool hung from their face. The sight was ethereal - he could barely breathe, too afraid to ruin the moment. You see, Kiyoomi had never experienced this before. This was not the first time that they have shared a bed but Atsumu was a morning person and Kiyoomi was most definitely not - proven by the many times Atsumu had to shake him awake, rushing to practice to not be late. He thanked whatever god there was that he got to experience this.

In this setting, Atsumu was a whole different being. The curtains moved and streams of sunlight hit Atsumu’s blonde locks making them appear to be floating and show the softness of each individual strand. His face, oh _his face,_ it was so delicately human yet so untouchable. After months of dating him, Kiyoomi had peeled back Atsumu’s layers and discovered that the asshole narcissist farce he put up was to protect himself. Just as his bluntness was his own defence mechanism, Atsumu had his own. But under that layer, Atsumu could be soft, kind, caring, considerate, patient, loyal, and unrelenting. He stayed through every one of Kiyoomi’s bad days and would cherish the good days with him. He was a constant despite the unpredictable world that they lived in. 

Atsumu’s face was so human yet so untouchable. No one besides him could ever see this face. It was smooth, no lines from cheeky grins, closed eyes instead of sharp glares and calculating gazes - he was gorgeous. 

Kiyoomi’s heart was bursting with affection, he wished time would stop and just let him enjoy the sight of the angel on his chest. Slowly, he moved his hand up to caress Atsumu’s cheek - it was soft, of course, it was soft, and confirmed everything; that he was real, that he was his. Said angel on his chest unconsciously leaned into his touch and Kiyoomi couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face, dimples and all. 

If Atsumu heard soft mumbles of _I love you’s_ he whispered, Kiyoomi found that he didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. 

_**Plus One.** _

He was nervous.

Kiyoomi’s palms were sweating and each step he took was stiff. This shouldn’t be as hard as it is yet here he was, practically shaking from nervousness and doubt. He was on his way to Onigiri Miya to ask Osamu if he could marry Atsumu. Kiyoomi had taken the liberty of asking his parents already who surprisingly agreed with nothing more than a laugh and a jab at his boyfriend of 5 years now. 

_“Of course ya can marry him, Kiyoomi-kun. You both deserve each other. Thank you for taking care of him.”_

_“Finally, that brat’s gonna get hitched now, oh this is great!”_

He had asked his parents first, after, he told the MSBY Black Jackals who simply patted him on the back and gave their congratulations. Kiyoomi had left asking Osamu, his boyfriend’s twin brother, last - they were the closest, after all, being womb mates and all that. The bell above the door jingled as he entered the shop. It was almost closing time and Atsumu was out with Bokuto and Hinata. 

“Sorry, we’re cl- oh, hi there Sakusa.”

He slightly bowed his head in greeting.

“Hello, Osamu."

“Just lemme close up the shop and I’ll be with ya in a sec.”

Kiyoomi sat down at the counter and took off his mask. Thousands of thoughts were running through his head but this time, he was almost certain that it would go the way he hoped. Osamu had finished closing up the shop and was now leaning on the counter in front of him.

“Well, this is unusual, usually yer here with ‘Tsumu.”

“He went out with Bokuto and Hinata.”

Osamu hummed in acknowledgement.

“So what brings you here, then?”

Kiyoomi clenched his hands into fists - it was now or never.

“Actually, I’m here to ask if I can marry Atsumu.”

Osamu froze. Kiyoomi stared back at him intently with hope and conviction. After a few moments, Osamu spoke again.

“Didya ask our parents yet?”

“Yes.”

“What’d they say?”

“Yes. And insulted Atsumu a few times.”

“Yer team?”

“Yes.”

“Bokuto gonna keep his mouth shut long enough for you to pop the question?”

“I made sure of it.”

“Did you seriously come and ask me last?”

Kiyoomi gulped and took his hands out of his pockets to interlace together on the countertop.

“I have to admit, I was scared of asking you. Especially since you’re the closest to Atsumu after all.”

He was afraid. Kiyoomi knew that no matter how much he insulted his brother, Atsumu took Osamu’s word over anything. They trusted each other and his opinion would always make an impact on his boyfriend’s life. 

“Wow, I wasn’t expectin’ that when you walked in today. What did you expect me to say? No? Good for you for taking that demon away, it’s yer responsibility now.”

Osamu was wearing his usual shit-eating grin now. The tension in his shoulder dissipated, a sigh of relief escaped Kiyoomi - _thank god he agreed._ If he didn’t, he didn’t know what he was even going to do. 

“Still, I can’t believe ya asked me last. What made you want to ask ‘Tsumu for marriage?”

Kiyoomi thought about it and couldn’t find a moment where everything had clicked into place. Atsumu was just always there for him in his life - his presence was warm, comforting, and constant. Even before they had started dating, he had saved him in numerous times of need and during their relationship, he was even better. Atsumu never pushed him past his clear boundaries, he never made Kiyoomi feel different or weird for having issues, and most importantly, he stayed. He stayed through the good and the bad. He stayed through the fights and arguments. He stayed through the hours of cleaning and never gave up. There weren’t enough words in the universe to describe how much Atsumu meant to him. 

“... It just felt right.”

Osamu’s smile turned soft.

“Well, good for you. I would say good luck but I think we both know that he’s gonna say yes.”

Kiyoomi thanked Osamu and stayed a little while longer before leaving back to his and Atsumu’s shared apartment. He planned to ask him on Sunday night. Confidence flooded Kiyoomi’s body and a smile made its way to his face. 

_“Yeah.”_ He thought. _“I love him.”_

… 

Sunday night came in a flash. 

Atsumu was cooking dinner in their kitchen and he couldn’t ask for anything more. An air of domesticity surrounded them - Kiyoomi’s heart could barely take it. They finished yet another delicious meal and decided to watch a movie. Kiyoomi let Atsumu choose and sat down next to him, bringing both snacks and drinks from the kitchen.

“Yer being awfully nice to me today Omi-kun.”

Kiyoomi hummed in agreement but said nothing more. Mid-way through the movie, Kiyoomi stood up with the excuse of going to the washroom. He made his way to their dresser and opened up a drawer to dig out a velvet box. 

It was now or never. Kiyoomi could hear Atsumu’s random remarks and commentary about the movie from the living room and he smiled. No longer nervous, he walked back to the couch and sat down to hear Atsumu tease him.

“Finally yer back Omi-Omi, I was beginning to think you’d leave yer poor boyfriend here all by himself.”

Kiyoomi took a deep breath and simply said,

“Do you wanna change that?”

… 

It’s safe to say that that was the last time Atsumu ever referred to Kiyoomi as his boyfriend. 

_He wouldn’t have it any other way._

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> ok so the osamu scene was actually inspired by a tweet but i've been LOOKING FOR IT FOR 3 DAYS NOW AND I STILL CAN'T FIND IT SO YEAH  
> edit: THANK YOU SO MUCH USER [Xia1015](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xia1015/profile) for giving me the link to the [tweet](https://twitter.com/misashiru13/status/1307879555969949696?s=21) !!!
> 
> anyways, the marriage scene was actually supposed to be longer and more detailed but then i realized that one, i've never been proposed to and two, it was so bad that the second-hand embarrassment that i got from writing made me unable to open my docs again for 10 mins. 
> 
> YEAH SO to anyone who gave this fic a chance, thank you so much for reading!! i hope at least some o you enjoyed the result this brainrot.
> 
> i would plug my twitter but i deleted it HAHA 
> 
> <3


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